


I'm Looking For Something To Turn To, Somebody I Can Kiss, I Want Something Just Like This.

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Career Ending Injuries, Caretaking, Divorce, Feelings Realization, Hopeful Ending, Insecurity, Introspection, Love Confessions, Major Character Injury, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 15:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: Sergio wasn't sure where he really stood with Fernando. They have loved each other for years and have shared their lives with others. Yet when Fernando is badly injured, the time comes to re-evaluate where they stand and both Fernando and Sergio have to make decisions of what they really want from not just life, but each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie that Fernando Torres getting hit inspired some of this. Listening to "Something Just Like This" And "Postcards", combined with a rewatch of "Black Sails" kind of inspired all of this.  
> Edited, but is mistakes appear, they will be fixed.  
> Title is from "Something Like This."

_One_

_“Allo?”_

_There was pause, a shuffling of cloth and then-_

_“I-Is it true? Is he in-”_

_A quiet sigh. A half-caught sob._

_“Yes. He’s...He’s lucid for the moment.”_

_There’s a slight hitch. A tell-tale pause that says everything and nothing all at the same time._

_“Is he fine? Is he okay?”_

_It’s frantic and pleading at the same time. He saw the aftermath and was utterly surprised the kid walked away from the scene. No one can blame him for his reaction._

_“Can you come?”_

_It was his turn to pause. Sure, she knew about them. Just like his partner knew about them. It was a tacit understanding, the only rule being that they never acknowledge the relationship between them._

_He knew then that it was serious. If he was being asked to be there…_

_“Yeah. Give me the address and twenty minutes and I’ll be there.”_

_Two_

Sergio suspected it would happen when Nando didn’t sign with Atleti. It was a pattern all over. Everyone went running for greener pastures. He didn’t blame Nando. He did it himself, bidding goodbye to Jesus and Antonio to come to Madrid.

Yet he couldn’t quite quash the sharp feeling of betrayal that Nando’s softly spoken announcement had created.

He had mostly chewed on his lower lip, wincing when the braces cut into his lip. He had them for awhile, yet he couldn’t _quite_ get used to them. He didn’t mind them much. Only when he was reminded of how young he really was compared to Nando. Despite the gangly limbs and floppy blond hair, Nando wasn’t the boy that the media called him.

There was more to him, a gravity in those startlingly dark eyes that didn’t match the freckles, fair skin or blond hair. A gravity that Sergio could always sense since the first time that they had met as youngsters practicing for the national team. It was the reason why he had agreed to come and see Nando so late on a Sunday.

He always knew it was coming and he had closed his eyes to it coming. He didn’t want to face it just yet.

Sergio knew it was selfish, this feeling of rejection. Yet he had this quiet hope that Nando would either stay or join him at Real. Even though he knew that Nando never liked Real. So he listened and nodded at the appropriate moments.

Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say the words and hoped that Nando would understand why he couldn’t say the words just yet.

And now that the time had stretched more than possible, it was time for them to go their own ways.

Yet he couldn’t say it and now, looking back,

Sergio wished he had said the words.

He was too proud to admit that Nando’s leaving was a blow he hadn’t anticipated or planned on. Even though he understood why he had to go. He still couldn’t see past his wounded pride.

So he only half smiled and cupped Nando’s face.

“I’ll look for you across the field, yeah?”

Nando’s face had pinked at that as he had given him that devastating look from under his light lashes before laughing softly and clapping his hand on Sergio’s shoulder.

“Be seeing you then, Sese.”

They let each other go and Sergio watched him go, clenching his fists to keep himself from reaching out for him and telling him what he really felt.

He hoped, he wanted, he wished that Nando would turn around to give him one last look. If he had, Sergio would have said everything else.

Nando didn’t. He kept on going and not once did he look back.

Sergio ignored the ache in his chest and instead turned to go as well.

_Three_

It was the memory of that first good bye that accompanied him as he drove to the hospital.  He drove fast, yet carefully. His fingers tapped on the steering wheel as he fought the rising panic building up in him. He had tried to not listen to the radio and ignored the news, the hash tags, anything on social media. He was already too wound up, his imagination already going haywire, picturing the worst. Her words reassured him, though. Fernando being lucid and aware was a good thing.

Sergio had to take comfort from that. If Fernando was awake, then his injuries weren’t as serious as Sergio was fearing. Yet for Olalla to call him to Fernando’s side meant that it was still bad. They both respected the boundaries that had been agreed upon and this overlap wasn’t doing his anxiety any favours. He couldn’t quite sweep this one under the carpet just yet.

His own partner wasn't aware of how deep it went and Sergio never bothered to explain. He couldn't. She was that possessive. She knew, despite not saying a word, that there was always someone between them and she resented the intrusion. She wanted to be the only one in his life and he couldn’t do that. He loved Nando. He couldn’t give him up.

Even when he wasn’t sure how strong the bond that tied him and Fernando together truly was. One thing he did know was that despite being on the frayed side, he hadn’t hesitated to  call Olalla when he had heard the news. Nando was his. Just like he hoped he was still Nando’s.

He had to wonder if Nando would have done the same for him. He hadn’t bothered to dwell on that. He was quite frankly afraid of the answer, if he was honest. He often had wondered if he was the one that had put more effort into their connection than Nando did. He was honest enough to himself to admit that he never wanted to get the confirmation of that. He had learned the hard way to not ask questions he couldn’t ever face the answers to.

Sergio also knew, as he pulled into the hospital parking lot, that even if he did know the answer, it wouldn’t be enough to kill the love that he had for Nando. Mortally wound it, yes. But never kill it.

Despite knowing it was a mistake, he had given his heart away and even if it was cracked and badly mended, it was still held in Fernando’s hands. He was sure of that.

He sighed as he exited his car, got his parking ticket and entered the hospital and nearly ran smack into a silently grieving Olalla.

He saw Nando’s parents. His siblings standing there with bitterly surprised looks on their faces and as he instinctively reached out to comfort Olalla, he knew that it was bad.

Yet he kept stubbornly quiet and wouldn’t ask. Wouldn’t say anything in an effort to keep the illusion that things would be fine after this setback. It was just a setback. Nando would go down, but he was never down for the count. He was resilient. He would come through to the other end.

Yet he knew he was lying to himself the moment that he looked down at Olalla’s tear stained face and red eyes.

Fernando wasn’t coming back from this.

At least, not whole.

_Four_

Fernando lay still in the bed in the rehab. It still hurt what was left of his legs if he moved the wrong way, so he prefered to keep still. He could hear the ticking of the alarm Sergio had bought after Fernando had smashed his mobile in a fit of rage. Fernando winced at the memory. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he had lost his temper over such a trivial thing as getting dressed.

Sergio hadn’t snapped at him. Or looked at him with the thinly veiled impatience he had become used to seeing on everyone else’s face. He’d only shrugged and bent down to pick up the worst of the pieces before disposing of them in the rubbish bin. Nando had watched him, his face aflame with both his shame and anger.

Shame at having had acted like a child and anger at the fact that if he had attempted to clean up after himself, he’d probably fall out of the chair and land on his face. He was no better than his own children, unable to do anything but the simplest tasks by himself. He even needed a fucking minder in the bathroom, for fuck’s sake.

“You didn’t have to clean up after me, you know.”

Nando mumbled, making Sergio look up at him. The calm expression on his partner’s face made him shrink back into the folds of his hoodie. He hadn’t meant to sound like a petulant twat, but he had. In fact, he was pretty sure he had just sounded exactly like his son did when he didn’t want to admit that he was in the wrong.

“I know I don’t. I wanted to. It’s what people that love you do, Nando.”

He looked away and bit his lip hard, clearly embarrassed at having revealed too much. Nando knew that Sergio always wore his heart on his sleeve. You knew he loved you or hated you. There was no artifice with him. His emotions had always been clearly displayed on his face and before the accident, Nando had been embarrassed at how effusive Sergio could be.

How much Sergio loved him, sometimes even eclipsing the love that he had with Olalla, even though he knew that it was different than what he had with her. Way different. She was his home and hearth. His refuge from the world’s prying eyes and the one that held his household together.

Sergio...Sergio was heat and sunshine and kept the warmth of his heart out there. Sergio knew him in ways that no one else would, from all those travels and tournaments. From late night talks to late night fumbles under hotel sheets. Sergio had been there.

As much as he had pushed the question of how much Sergio meant to him throughout the years, the answer was right there. He loved Sergio. Loved him with the same intensity that he loved his wife, his children, and his team.

Now, he needed that emphatic show of emotion to show him that despite being down, he wasn’t fully broken. That he was still Fernando and always would be, no matter what. That Sergio had ended his relationship because he had that much faith in Fernando. He had seen Sergio’s face after one of the hushed conversations he had had with his partner. Fernando had also seen Sergio’s face once the conversation had ended. Sergio had only given him a weak smile before he left and hadn’t come back for five days.

Five days that had been hell for Fernando as he had wondered if Sergio had finally seen an out and had taken it. But he hadn’t. He had only come back and refused to speak of it. That stubborn silence had been one of the reasons why Fernando had simply lost it.

He craned his neck to look up at Sergio, who tried to shake off the heaviness of the confession that he had just impulsively divulged. He had forced his face into neutral lines, giving nothing away. Yet Nando had had long hours of studying the lines of Sergio’s face and knew that Sergio was afraid of what Nando would say next.

And Nando couldn’t blame him.

And he knew he had to change that. Just because he was the one that was hurt, it didn’t mean he could keep hurting Sergio back with his reticience.

“Come here, love. Please.”

Nando murmured quietly, hoping that Sergio wouldn’t choose this moment to be sensible and rational and pull away in an effort to negate what had just happened. He waited for Sergio to get over the shock, promising himself that _he’d_ be the patient one for a change.

Besides, it was high time that he finally did that for a change. Even though he wouldn’t know how long it would take for that to happen. He waited, but not as long as he thought he would.

He was abruptly enveloped into an embrace that nearly left him breathless, but he didn’t mind. He instead clutched at Sergio tightly, as if he was afraid that they would be torn apart again.

“Thank you, my love. Thank you for everything.”

He whispered before Sergio pulled back and kissed him.

_Five_

Nando smoothed down the fabric of his trousers over his stumps, not flinching when his fingers touched the lumpy scar tissue hidden under the fabric folded underneath what was left of his legs. He’d had practice, schooling those reactions. There had been months of work, with Sergio beside him when he could spare the time. Or Olalla when she wasn’t swamped down with responsibilities that had increased in direct proportion with the time that he had spent in rehab. To the point that he had counted himself lucky if he saw her and his family once every two weeks.

He knew, from the way that she had looked at both him and Sergio, that their story had been told. It had pained him, to see that look on her face, but he understood. He wouldn’t make any harder than it had to be on her.

Olalla...He still loved her, but things had changed. She had changed. He had too, Maybe more than her, and he knew that the thread that had held them together was only just barely connected with a few tendrils. She had the children. She had a life.

He had a wheelchair, occasional phantom pain, and tarnishing trophies in a case. Even if they were in love, he could see clearly what was to come and was getting ready for it. She wasn’t home any longer and he knew that he had to find home for himself somewhere else and with someone else.

“You alright, love?”

Nando looked up and received the mug of hot chocolate with alacrity once it registered that it was cold out in Liverpool. Colder than he ever remembered being. But he couldn’t not come. Not when Stevie had asked for him to visit. And plan for the future, Nando was sure.

Stevie hadn’t ever been subtle, bless his Scouse soul. He knew why he had been asked up to Liverpool. Stevie needed another set of eyes and was willing to push Nando forward. Not just for the position, but a chance at redemption.

And Nando was canny enough to know that chances like those didn’t come by everyday.

“Just thinking. Nothing to worry about, Sese.”

He assured Sergio, who was already sipping at his chocolate.

Sergio nodded, his eyes narrowing in thought.

“Are you going to say yes if he makes an offer?”

Nando took a sip of the tea before nodding.

“It’s not like any teams in Spain have said anything. Even if Stevie does, it wouldn’t be for awhile.”

He pointed out cautiously.

“Would you stay here permanently then when the offer comes through?”

Nando looked at him sharply.

“Only if you joined me. Otherwise, I’d come back to you.”

Sergio’s eyes widened and his face went pale as a sheet. He definitely hadn’t expected that.

There was a long moment of silence before Sergio nodded.

“Would you wait for me?”

Sergio whispered as he put his cup down carelessly on the counter and kneeling down in front of Nando. His eyes were dark and shiny and full of unspoken hope that had started to grow the longer that they were together and realised that this was it for both of them.

He had this chance. He wasn’t going to squander it.

He licked his lips and put his own cup onto the table before he clasped Sergio’s hand.

“I will. Just like you waited for me. I will. I promise you that.”

It wasn’t elegant, but it was heartfelt and that was all that was needed, if Sergio’s stunned expression was anything to go by.

Nando reached out and pulled him close, looking at him before kissing him with everything he had in him.

END.

  


**Author's Note:**

> The relationship-In Black Sails, there is no fridging of the wife character, Miranda, and she accepts the relationship between her husband and the main male character. I wanted to have Olalla be like Miranda and have the relationship break due to realistic and pressing issues, like distance and circumstances changing. Not because it was convenient for them to break up to make way for the other partner.  
> Sergio-He's very emotive and I could see him wondering if he's over-stepping, or putting in too much and Fernando sort of holding back because of his reserved nature, not because he doesn't love Sergio the same way.  
> Stevie-In my future fantasy, he's a manager at Liverpool and wants the old guard helping him out.  
> Nando's injury-This was the most career ending thing that could happen to him, that's why it ended up being this. I didn't want to go into gory details, so it's pretty glossed over. I wrote another draft where it was a different injury and it didn't fit into the narrative.


End file.
